Sestina

A sestina is a poem of six stanzas with six lines each and the same six words at the end of each line. The last stanza is three lines with two of the words in each line. Here is my sestina:

I have to tell you about how I’m awesome.

One day I went out

To eat at this restaurant with a girl and a dude.

She was saying that I should date this guy.

“He sees me as just a friend,”

I said. “But if he asked me out-wow.”

 

Yeah, if I dated a guy like that-wow.

He’s got a great sense of humor and is clearly awesome.

We actually met through a friend

When he randomly stopped by during a night out.

If he was a little chubbier he’d be my ideal guy.

For the moment I just think he’s a cool dude.

 

Since he isn’t into me, I’m on the search for another dude.

He should be nerdy, but not into W.O.W.

That’s when they become a video game and stop being a guy.

They think that only their game is awesome.

If their girl doesn’t like it, they cast her out.

No, my nerdy one should be a little more than a friend.

 

Boy, I would be a great girlfriend.

I’m always laughing with a sense of humor like a dude

Who thinks it’s all funny, even when others are grossed out.

Like when Steve Carell says “Wow,

This is graphic” in the 40-Year-Old Virgin, which was an awesome

Movie. It’s got Paul Rudd in it. I love that guy.

 

Let’s talk about food with this hypothetical guy.

He should like Asian food, my friend.

Why? Because Asian food is awesome.

I ate it growing up in Hawaii, dude.

You would not believe how much they eat there, like wow.

So this date and I would eat that when we go out.

 

We don’t have to go out.

I can just be a girl and him a guy.

I don’t have to have a man who makes the ladies say “wow.”

If you are my friend,

And chubby, and a dude,

Ask me on a date. I promise it would be awesome.

 

Anyway, dude. You don’t have to ask me out.

I’m fine with just being a friend to a really cool guy like you.

Wait? What? Now? Wow. That’d be awesome.

I’m bringing it home with me.

This is a poem that I wrote for my class. It is in the form of a villanelle.

Simple People

Our friendships are good.

The accent will always spread.

This is my neighborhood.

 

We know we should

Have babies. I want a cat instead.

Our friendships are good.

 

I never knew I could

Pet a cow. He peed when I touched his head.

This is my neighborhood.

 

Whenever we meet we eat some food.

“Taters,” chicken, pie, all precede bed.

Our friendships are good.

 

We remember to knock on wood.

We thank God for our daily bread.

This is my neighborhood.

 

The families here are sometimes misunderstood.

Sometimes I think I’m one step ahead.

Our friendships are good.

This is my neighborhood.

I’m A Geeky Nerd

My big topic this week is preparing for school. Here a few tips on getting ready to go back to college.

Supplies. Get the newspaper out. I know it’s a little tough to read an informative piece of paper that is sometimes boring. If you unfold it, there will be store circulars. Although it seems a little parent-like, clipping coupons and checking on sales is a really good thing. You’ll need the extra money for tuition and fuel. Shop around for the best deal. My best shopping trip of all time was when I planned to go to Target and Wal-Mart for their advertised deals. I saved 10s of dollars!

Tuition. Unless you are still in high school, which is free, you’ll be stressing about paying your college fees. Scholarship deadlines were way back in March, so the next step is student loans. I have unfortunately had to apply for a loan recently. My scholarship covered 1/2 of the tuition, leaving another half to pay for. (Remember, I love to state basic math on the weekends.) If you are rich with thousands of dollars, you don’t have this problem. Good for you.

People. Any time you see a person of authority at school, be friendly. It is really important to create a good impression at your college. Community college involvement leads to possible scholarships at a university. Even though fees are sometimes a little high, it’s nothing compared to the future monetary help. Oh, most universities require students to fill out the FAFSA.

ORGANIZATION. It’s in all caps for a reason. When you start off this year, organize everything. Make sure every little thing is ready and paid for, so you can concentrate on class. This is the dorkiest thing I can suggest, but don’t jump into using a spiral notebook. Use a three-ring binder. That way you can divide the subjects and see which one includes the most note taking. Not only does a student need to be organized in their backpack, but he or she should also be organized inside. Always schedule study time. Turning to the books when you think of it, or five minutes before class, can seriously affect your grades. They are called “pop tests” for a reason.

The Indie Film Showcase

Last night I went to the Shendopen Indie Short Film Showcase. Daniel Lee, a talented independent filmmaker from Guntown, invited his friends on MySpace to join in the fun. Since I’ve barely been to Starkville, I thought it would be a great opportunity to get out of town. I love to travel, even if it’s just an hour or two away.

Michelle and I drove down and met Glenn at Mugshots. The restaurant specializes in burgers and sandwiches. We all ordered the “Savell”–a very good burger. It’s official, burgers are 43% better with bacon on them.

When we walked over to the theatre, we saw that Daniel and his crew were locked out, along with 15 other people. I developed a theory that if you had any green on, you could get in. After about 15 minutes of unfortunate loitering, the doors were opened and we paid our admission. Michelle and I were branded with “X”s, while Glenn got a bracelet.

The seating was great in the theatre. We got a prime spot in the middle of the second row (out of four). More audience members stood in the bar area. A few minutes after settling, Glenn turned around and saw Carlton. This guy is super funny and outgoing. We met him at the gallery a few months ago while he was browsing through town. Anyhoo, Carlton joined us for the show. It’s always great to have more people to comment on big screen shows.

My favorite shorts were from the guys at goodcommitment.tv. They were funny and clever, but pretty similar to the late Comedy Central show “Stella.” Daniel’s films were interesting. I love the fact that he included color to contrast his classic black and white theme. He was thankful that his MySpace request did not go unanswered. Glenn is working on some films right now. He hopes to have an entry next year. To see Glenn’s website, click here.

After the show everybody met up at Waffle House. Daniel’s party arrived before ours, which is my fault. I gave the wrong directions. Glenn knew how to get there, so he saved it. Carlton ran out of gas, and got lost because of me. When everyone tried to call him, Carlton’s phone would not even go to voicemail. Daniel tried to cheer up the situation by saying “maybe he’ll just stumble in here somehow.” You know what? HE DID! Cheers abounded when he walked in.

Boisterious laughter lasted at Waffle House for an unclocked amount of time. Conversation included 80s movies, living in Japan, and embarrassing stories. Our food was all right. Carlton went “all the way” with some hashbrowns. Let’s just say that his food looked like he had returned to a foreign land. I will never order ambitious toppings for my breakfast starch.

A few pictures were taken. Once we realized that it was quite late, the hour and a half trip home began. It was a great night with good food and so much laughter that faces hurt.

Carlton, Daniel, and Glenn

Me, Carlton, Glenn, and Michelle taking our "internet" pictures

 

An unintentional face peel is approaching.

Blisters are a dime a dozen, andespecially when they are the result of eight hours in the sun. This week I went to a water park.

We took the long way to our destination enjoyed the scenic woods. That is, until the storm of the month glazed over our entire route. To top that off, our predetermined rest stop has been closed down for months, demonstrated by the gas price being under $2. We joked about the normal things road trips include: music, movies, and how to prove to police that the present driver is dangerous.

When our brave little car reached the hostess’ house, we unpacked and settled down to watch nostalgic home movies. Babies are cute. Admit it. After the video camera loss power, the group of eight dined at a very good Mexican restaurant. Michelle’s sister and mother ordered fajita quesadillas, the first I’ve ever heard of. They were also the biggest quesadillas I have ever seen.

Cozumel's giant fajita quesadilla

That night we played industrial-themed Monopoly for over two hours. I am notorious for being the “generous buyer.” The fun of the game is all I want. Oh, and bigger bills. Glenn was astounded by how often I asked to trade my two 50s, five 20s and three 100s for a $500 bill. It’s good to be organized, isn’t it? Michelle cooked informal rice crispy treats. Glenn and I tried to mold the mix into unorthodox shapes. He managed to make some trees, while I succeeded in making a very large boulder. Sticky hands were inevitable, yet encouraged. To get some rest for the water park, we all went to bed at 2:30 a.m.

Who said cereal isn't fun?

In the complete spirit of stating the obvious, water parks are busy in July. Lines were everywhere. Twenty minutes arrived (the equivalent of two rides), the lifeguards shut down half of the park because someone was injured. Once the rides reopened we divided into twos for a while.

Lunch was delicious. There is nothing like a greasy cheeseburger to top off a morning of swimming and sliding. A honey mustard packet hidden in my purse opened while we were playing. Needless to say, it is probably time for me to finally upgrade my phone.

We left the park at closing time. Everyone absorbed major rays. Michelle and Glenn’s tans only got better, if not a little red. Sylvia did not turn red, but remained dark. I, however, have my first blisters since childhood.

The evening drifted away by the time we got back to the house and decided to stay one more night. Glenn and Michelle were driving the next day. It was reasoned that sleeping a few hours would be safer for everyone after a long day at the park.

Michelle’s sister is having a baby in a few months. I got to feel a baby kick for the very first time! Being around someone who’s expecting is very humbling. You realize how amazing childbirth is. Every hour I would say “there’s a baby in there!” At the moment, children and marriage are not in my plans. Teaching sure is! Financial aid from a university is much more complicated than community college. How I wish I were getting a whole scholarship and then some. Receiving that check every second month of the semester was so nice.

CULTURE REPORT:

• Right now I’m reading a book called Pug Hill by Alison Pace. Michelle recommended it. So far, I really like it. To research this book, click here.
• The Dark Knight will be viewed by me very shortly. The anticipation is one thing, but the acting is another. Christian Bale is very talented. We all know how good Heath Ledger was. I am a movie person–I want to see a film.
• Music is still Vampire Weekend-based. Until SNL returns, the outlook remains still.
• I received my “Michael Scott’s Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure” T-shirt. It was the perfect shirt for my orientation last week. To get your own, visit the NBC-Universal store here.

Finally

Today was my 3rd final. I have one more to go, thank heavens. It is on Tuesday, and couldn’t come at a better time. I need the weekend to rest. Why? Because I had to wake up at 6 a.m. for the finals of classes I don’t take until 9, 10, and 11 a.m. Definitely not the highlight of the semester.

Tutoring is over, and I’m a little sad. It was the closest I’ve come to teaching English in my life. The confidence resulting from getting to genuinely help students thrilled me into submission. Extreme overtime became my calling.

Last night I kicked some butt at Harry Potter Scene It! Chuck E. Cheese had a bad night, since three of their machines were malfunctioning. Over 3000 tickets were tallied for our team. So, we got the game for about $10. I won both rounds. My affection for Scene It! only encourages people to exclaim “she’s cheating!” It’s a DVD/board game. The questions are random. I had never played the Harry Potter version.

Summertime is here and the living is easy, in May at least. I graduate from community college, get a nice little paycheck, and finish the month with a well-deserved vacation. Snaps for May. The only trouble ahead is that June will arrive and the underlying question of a job will rear its ugly head. I’ll see what I can do.

The Office is back! I watch every episode the night of its premiere, then play it back on my fan-tab-u-lous DVR. You don’t realize how much TV you watch until you use a DVR. After the second viewing of Rory and Logan’s breakup, you crawl into a ball and wail for an intelligent hobby. Oh, I should mention that I have two books on stand-by waiting for me to finish school: a Stephen King novel and The Great Gatsby, respectively. I’ve heard enough about the latter to finally pick it up.

Ooo! I know her!

Tutoring in a community college on a Friday tends to be fairly slow. Everyone is ready to get away and lay in their tanning bed. Yes, I’m bitter about the paleness right now. As a way to pass the time I did what any English-loving, college-attending, Office-watching teenager would do–I looked up random movies on imdb.com. As my good friend Becky knows, the Internet Movie Database can provide hours of cinematic fun.

Did you know that Steve Martin has starred as a dentist in two movies? Little Shop of Horrors (1986) and Novocaine (2001). You know that red-haired guy that was in A Knight’s Tale and has parts in 3:10 to Yuma, Knocked Up, and played Pastor Veal on “Arrested Development”? His name is Alan Tudyk. He’s the kind of actor who makes you yell at the screen “I know who he is! He’s awesome!” For my fellow former Disney Channel lovers, detective Juliet O’Hara on “Psych” is played by Maggie Lawson, or popularly remembered as Janine Adams/Alex Burroughs in Model Behavior.

So, if your brushing up on your knowledge for the next “World Series of Pop Culture” or waiting for someone who writes how they speak to ask for assistance, the database is a great playground for the movie fiend.

One word: free.

Free samples on Wal-Mart.com are my new Internet obsession. Last week I received a day’s serving of cat food, tanning lotion, and anti-aging lotion. Yes, 19 years don’t result in a lot of aging, but it had no price!

Last week I saw Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears A Who! That day was very busy. I worked out, tutored for many hours, and was only stocked with five hours of sleep. The previous list of activities was only typed to prove that I had a right to fall asleep for eight minutes while Kangaroo rallied up the town. If it’s any consolation, I didn’t pay for the movie. A co-worker of my dad gave him a $20 gift book. Once again, it didn’t cost anything!

Am I cheap? No. Responsible? Heck yes, I am. The Wedding Planner was on TBS last night after (you knew it was coming) The Office and Sex and the City. Why does McConaughey continue to make movies that inadvertently stay on your screen the whole two hours?

It doesn’t become easier the more you do it.

That’s what she said. 

Moving, in a phrase, “sucks lollipops.” Yes, I am 58 years too young to say such a noun. I did not have what you would call a “spring break.” Only my sanity broke around day four.

Day 1: The family prepares to move for the eighth time. We’ve moved across a country, a county, and a couple of states. You’d think we would be the best.

Day 2: I begin with the closet. A mild task that included extremely sentimental toys from childhood. Extra markers and crayons erupted from said hood to bring the dilemma of figuring out who needed them most. I was obviously out of the magenta and sky blue picture, but a church ultimately won. The cage match was crazy.

Day 3: The first round of old clothes vs. new clothes is a graphic one. A black business top fiercely flicks a button into a Target clearance item, but is unsuccessful in the war. Despite being outnumbered 3 to 5, new clothes came out on top. I’m sad to say that one traitorous still-tagged hoodie clouded things a bit.

Day 4: Flip-flops are not the most accommodating footwear for moving bedside tables. While pushing the ugliest entertainment center in history, I get the bruise that still graces the front of my right ankle four days and 15 hours later.

Day 6: Our hound dog decides that someone should have a spring break and runs away from the new house.

Day 7: The dog returned.

A Tangled Web of Thoughts

I am extremely bored waiting for a tutee, so I’m going to type some sincerely random thoughts. No, this isn’t a forward, I’m just bored and hyper.

1. Paper should be more colorful in everyday life. Despite coupons from the newspaper and textbook covers, there are rarely cases of pigment in the deceased tree products.

2. If you drink something out of a coffee cup that is not coffee, what do you call it? “Mountain Dew Cup”?

3. What is cooler than a sphere? I mean, it is just awesome. Almost like you want to draw a smiley face on it. So… that’s what Wilson was!

4. I think wearing your school ID around your neck is a good thing. Especially if these promiscuous girls wear them and get a suntan around their neck with an inch-wide line. If I had that happen to me, I would probably still write my name on the card-shaped part, for the weekends.

5. What made Faulkner so popular? I can barely read his work as it is.

6. How hard would it be to use a computer without a mouse? It’s sad just to think about.

7. How many Law and Orders are there? Will Mariska Hartigay run for president, too?

8. Why would anybody buy a car the color of puke?

9. Why is a Chevrolet called “shevy” but Chevy Chase is pronounced “chev-y.”

10. Can an uroligist tell the difference between female and male pee? (I just watched the “Drug Testing” Office episode recently.)